This will Make your Day!

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as

NBA 5.0,
NFL 3.0 and
Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.


Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind,Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html,

Then try to download Tears 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5. Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
Cooking 3.0 and
Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!
Tech Support

Bragging about my lawyer!

Lewis Brisbois Bisgaard & Smith General Liability Newsletter Fall 2010

GENERAL LIABILITY GROUP VICTORIES

San Bernardino partner Lawrence Rookhuyzen received a defense verdict in the Riverside Superior Court case Stilwell v Final (9/03/10). Plaintiffs' lawsuit alleging Assault, Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress and Trespass was retaliatory for our client's complaints to animal control that his neighbors were feeding dozens of cats who then used his backyard as their kitty litter box. The jury voted 12-0 in Defendant's favor. Mr. Rookhuyzen was able to obtain evidentiary rulings excluding plaintiff's expert witnesses, loss of earnings and a video tape that had not been shared.

San Bernardino partners Lawrence Rookhuyzen and Dean McVay and associate Manuel Sarmiento successfully defended an appeal from a 12-0 defense verdict in the SBSC case Camarata v Abbate claiming the trial court abused its discretion in granting a non-suit on the issue of assault, striking the testimony of plaintiff's child psychologist as to the ultimate fact, and allowing the defense expert to testify on issues of DNA and child sexual abuse. Oral argument was by Mr. Rookhuyzen. Plaintiff's Petition for Rehearing was denied.

On 8/5/10, San Bernardino Partner Lawrence S. Rookhuyzen received a defense verdict in the case of Yolanda Ochoa v Omnitrans, a public transit agency, tried before a jury in SBSC-Rancho Cucamonga. Ochoa, a bus passenger, was injured when a car pulled in front of the bus. Plaintiff's demand was $3.8 Million.

Los Angeles partner John Rea and San Bernardino partner Lawrence S. Rookhuyzen settled a wrongful death claim for $75,000 ($37,500 each to the decedent's divorced parents) in the consolidated Riverside Superior Court case Kazmark/Romero v Chappies Bar. The bar served the under aged [19] decedent, who later rear ended a parked mobile home, and died in the crash.